He isn’t who I fell in love with

He isn’t who I fell in love with 4 years ago.

And for that I am grateful.

Over the years he has matured in numerous ways.

His priorities have shifted.

His compassion has grown insurmountably.

His love is like a mountain, un-moving and always seen.

His focus shifted to God’s calling on his life.

People struggle with change. Which makes it easy to understand why a partner in a relationship struggles when their other half is changing.

In relationships, we fall in love with the person we are with and often with no thought that people change over time. Our love must continually follow the changing person (given the circumstances are healthy and right).

When my husband (at the time boyfriend) fell in love with me, I was still into lifting weights, my independence level was HIGH, I was not very open with my feelings, but I loved fiercely. Four years later, I do not lift. I’d rather watch Gilmore Girls and chug coffee. I often find that I am dependent on my husband. My feelings are seen on my face the second I feel them, no holding back. And I still love fiercely. 3/4 points I listed drastically changed in four years. And in four more years, I’d bet they will be drastically changed again.

That’s just how life is. People grow. People change. When one is in a relationship it is helpful to go into that relationship remembering the principle “people change, people grow.” The latter piece “people grow” is the key, because sometimes people change and it is for the worse. It can become an unhealthy relationship to be in, a toxic one if you please. And for that girlfriends/boyfriends I am not advocating for you to stay in that relationship.

However, for that relationship that is believed to be God-planned, remember that people will change. Your partner, your better half, will change. They will grow. Their hobbies will change. Their interests will fluctuate. And it is even possible that their entire personality will shift with the change of seasons in life. Go with it. Embrace it. Be proud of them for who they are.

A while back a Facebook post went viral. It was about a husband who said that he had enjoyed one wife his whole life, yet in a sense it was like he enjoyed many because her hobbies and her interests and her needs changed with each season. And he loved that about her. He loved watching his wife grow and change. He loved watching his wife embrace new ideas.

Embracing the change in your person will create a better sense of success and even greater it will make your love so much stronger.

Change can be good, if it is healthy change. Embrace the change friends. Embrace maturation. Embrace the love that God has gifted you with. Embrace your person.




Inspired by Elsa Ledyard 🙂


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