Today, lets talk about marriage. I am totally 110% enthralled in the idea of marriage, the actions of marriage, the everything that encompasses marriage. I love being married. I love the sweet talk that makes others gag. I love the snuggles. I love the fact that I have a helpmate available around the clock. I love that I can live with my best friend. I love that my biggest supporter is my husband and vice versa. I love that everything we accomplish, we accomplish together. Mostly, I love growing in the Lord together and watching the Lord guide us through this crazy life.
However, even with all these things I love about marriage, marriage is not always easy. Sometimes social media makes marriage look like a walk in the park or a piece of cake. And honestly, most days it is. But not all days. There are days where the simplest of things will set the other off. There are days when petty words are said, but words of apology and forgiveness should always follow. There are days when you will wake up on the wrong side of the bed and your husband will tell you to go back to bed and wake up on the left side. There are days when things just don’t go the way you want them too.
But guys, that is normal. Little tiffs and taffs, arguments here and there, it is normal. What is important is knowing how to handle these things.
Since the point of dating is to marry, I present to each of you a list of incredibly important things to consider before marrying:
- What is your reason for dating this guy/girl? If it’s not marriage, then I urge you to reconsider and save your heart and love strings for the person God set aside just for you.
- Does this person you are dating push your boundaries? Do his hands go further than they should? Is his language rougher than what you believe it should be? Sexual actions & mouths filled with dirty language or angry words, is not something that the Lord is pleased with. If you have a set of boundaries you believe are truly important, stand firm on them. Don’t allow yourself to be sweet talked out of them. If that guy does not understand your boundaries, has no respect for them, pushes the limit. GOODBYE. Let it hurt girl, then get back up dust yourself off, fix your crown and wait for that guy that has those same boundaries you do, that guy who strives to please the Lord with his life.
- How about anger? If the guy your with is so full of anger, or can erupt unreasonably at any time, I urge you to consider what living with that the rest of your life will be like. Anger is a really scary thing. It can seem small in a moment and erupt like a volcano in the next moment. You never know what may come out of someones mouth when anger is uncontrolled. Words often hurt more than physical wounds. On top of that, if someone’s anger is so out of control that they can pop a cap like that over anything, it is likely they will pop you at some point. You do NOT want that. Don’t excuse their anger. Don’t excuse their “blow ups” because it isn’t excusable. Ladies, marry someone who can manage their anger. The guy who can become angry over something and know how to handle it maturely and let it subside is the one you want to marry. Anger is a natural emotion in for any human, but it should be an emotion that is well controlled and not out of hand. No if’s, and’s, nor but’s.
- Ladies, find a man that respects modesty. If he is pleased with you for reserving your body from the public eye and even from him until you say “I do”, then you have found a gem.
- No matter what, a guys eyes lusting after another woman is not okay. Lusting, looking, casually scrolling, whatever you want to call it, it is not okay. Porn is not okay. Nasty social media accounts are not okay. Touching other women is not okay.
- BEING WITH FEMALE FRIENDS IS NOT OKAY. BAM. The elephant in the room. I have saw SO many debates back and forth over the past few years between couples, groups of friends, etc. about if it is okay for someones boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife to hang out with the opposite sex alone. It is not. Period. It is never okay to be with the opposite sex alone “just hanging out” no matter how innocent it may seem. It can easily cause tension in your relationship. It can easily start rumors. It can easily cause temptations and desires to exist. Simply, a guy and a girl alone, is NEVER okay when in a relationship no matter what.
- Most importantly, friends, you need to be equally yoked. What this means is you need to be on the same page. When you are saved by God, you need to date a guy who is also saved. You need to be on the same page with your faith, have the same beliefs. Growing in faith is really hard if not impossible when dating someone who doesn’t believe, or believes God exists but does not care to develop a relationship with him.
- Side note: To the married folk who are in a situation like this, in no way do I mean this to hurt you. I encourage you to keep walking in your faith. Stand tall and strong. I am rallying you on & I fully believe that your husband or wife will bring their heart to the Lord. I will be praying this for anyone in this situation & if you would like to reach out to me to pray specifically for you, I would most certainly love to do that as well. ❤
Friends, I hope that this makes a lasting footprint on your heart. I hope that you take these words seriously in hopes of you marrying the man of your dreams and having a healthy, life-giving relationship. God intends for us to have a relationship that not only pleases him but that pleases us as well. Marriage is a representation of Christ and the church. Think hard about that. What does your relationship look like? Is it worth it? Is it going to make a fruitful marriage? If so, congratulations! I am so happy for you. Seriously, I am the biggest sap ever. However, I am adamant that finding someone who has the same values as you and treats you like deserve to be treated is top priority.
Cheers to finding golden love,