Being Intentional in Your Marriage

Being intentional in your pursuits are always important in all relationships. However, Nathan & I have really started to understand the importance of being intentional. We use to see each other in breaks in our schedules while we were dating, or we would just wing it and figure something out. It was tough,  but at the time we made it work.

Now things have changed. We are married. We wake up together and go to sleep together, which is incredible but not exactly all that we need when it comes to time with one another. It isn’t enough time to fill our love buckets back up. Right now we are in a season of straight up BUSY! He takes all of his classes in the classroom so during the day he takes classes and at night he works. I am opposite. I have my field work this semester and work day and night. So my schedule is pretty much 8am-11:30pm through the week. So, we hardly see each other. It’s a lot but it has been a blessing in teaching us so many values to hold on to and to practice. Before this season started we already knew we would have to be intentional about the time we spent together. We knew we would need to give each other grace throughout our exhaustion. And we knew that although a clean and tidy house is ideal, we do not need to focus on perfection this semester. We are only one week into this schedule and we are exhausted, but we are so grateful for it. We appreciate our time together even more so. We focus on really finding the small moments or big moments we have and relaxing in them. Every morning Nathan makes us breakfast while I get ready for work and we eat together. Tuesday evenings we have a little time with our buddy. Unsure if I will be able to be apart of this regularly because I have a 3 hour class that night via my laptop, but when I do have the opportunity to be with them I soak it all in. Saturday nights and Sundays we are both off from everything and although this will be our homework time and Sunday mornings we have church, I believe that we are so capable of creating time for one another. And it is important.

Folks, I tell you our story to illustrate the importance of being in intentional in spending time with your spouse. It is way to easy to grow apart from your spouse when things get to chaotic and busy. I think that people often do not even realize they are growing apart until things start to get rocky in your marriage. Guys, be INTENTIONAL! Pray that God will guide you both in how to coordinate your schedules, that He will create a time for you to both be together doing whatever brings you close and satisfies your hearts, and do not ever give up. Just put the time in.

In the days that Nathan and I really do not get to see one another, he leaves me little love notes. I shoot him encouraging texts. He will do the dishes and take the trash out. I will have meals prepped for him to heat up before he rushes to work. It is a give-give. In marriage it is not about I will give if you will give. It is a I give because I love you and want to try to make your day flow easily. Do not give and expect, but give without expecting. Both of you. It is gratifying to give to your spouse and it is a soul filling love to be given too.

Be intentional in your prayer life. Pray for yourself and all of your endeavors. Pray for your husband and all that he is apart of. And pray for your marriage that it may sustain this season, better yet that it will thrive in this season!!

Guys, it is SO possible to have a thriving season and livelihood in the middle of a chaotic season. I promise!!

One of the very first things to do to make this possible is to pray fervently every single day. Get in and stay in a mindset of prayer and thanksgiving.

Second, be grateful for this season. This has been a tough lesson for me, yet I think I am grasping it slowly but surely. Don’t dread every day, but enter into it with an attitude of thanksgiving and a sense of joy. If I do not dread my next day then that 15 hour day will most likely not be half as bad as I could make it just by my presenting attitude towards it. If I enter each day with excitement to do my jobs, excitement to see my coworkers, and a readiness to provide my best customer service, then I am so much more likely to have a great day.

Third, if possible in your situation, periodically throughout the day shoot a little message or a phone call to your spouse. Let them know you are thinking of them and that you love them. Remind them that this season you are in (whatever it is) is going to improve your lives and that you guys are strong enough to get through this season and to do so by joyfully experiencing the season.

Be intentional friends. Go on a date. Have a date night at home. Send an “I love you”. Stay in prayer. Find joy in the mundane.



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