Hey pal! Fear is a huge struggle of mind. Probably one of my biggest because it plays into every aspect of life. Here’s a little bit of my thoughts on it, and Jesus’.
As I think and ponder about my life I am flooded with questions about my decisions now and in my future. I begin frantically stressing wondering how am I ever really going to know if I am making the right or wrong decision. I know that God gives answers in His time, but with that we have to be completely trusting and able to listen to him.
I often struggle with knowing if I am hearing God’s voice, my own or the devil’s. Trust is an issue I carry around. Not trust in God , but in mankind. Fear is what I have in myself and in others. I fear of making the wrong decision and I fear being fooled, let down, hurt, etc., by other people.
Now that I am outside of little Elkin (AKA my comfort zone) I am meeting so many new people granting me the opportunity to form new relationships. But trust. Trust is a key factor in relationships. I have really been trying to improve my trusting ways. I always tell myself and others “You cannot allow your past to define you because by doing that it will destroy you.” I feel like trust and fear intertwine kind of. I trust people, but then I catch myself fearing if words are just said with no meaning behind them, or if actions are just temporary for appeasement in the moment. Which would mean my fear in those situations means I have a lack of trust. I had recently been praying “God let this fear of mine subside if this relationship is your plan, or just let me remain scared if you would rather me not be here.” One of my best friends and I were talking about our struggles in life just having a heart to heart. I brought my trust/fear issue up and told her my prayer. She was quick to tell me “Han God does NOT cause fear! He will never ever put a fear in you!” She presented me with verses even telling me this (great friend right?!) :
After that conversation, I really thought about what she said to me and how true that is. God loves us with such a love that it is unfathomable. I cannot begin to even imagine the kind of love He has for us. I mean, He gave his life for us just so that we can live and share His name with more of His children. Really think that through… It is so incredible. He is available to listen to us 24/7. He never takes a day off, ever!! Now how many friends like that do you have? Our God, who loves like that would never instill a fear in us!! So, I changed my prayer and began to ask for a peace and sense of direction. And oh I cannot tell you the amount of joy that ran through me when I came to grips with the simple concept of God is a God of peace and not a God of fear. I became a happier, less-worried, and joyful person. I can walk with my head up knowing that my Jesus holds me in His hands. Even if I do mess up because I am human and absolutely no where near perfect, I know rest assured that my Jesus, the God who created me, my best friend, will be right there with me to pick me up dust off my scratches and continue the path of life with me.
I have to remind myself quite frequently of this some days, but once I remember who my God is and how much He loves me, I rest assured that I am okay.
My God is NOT a God of fear, but IS a God of peace!!!
“When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2
Jesus replied, “You do not understand what I am doing now, but someday you will.” John 13:7
With much love,
P.S. Thanks for reading this thought in my heart and mind 🙂